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Crucible living is, in many ways, a result of the first whisper in the Garden. When Adam shifted the blame onto Eve, he created a crucible of his own making—one defined by survival and defense. But that was not God’s intent. While the world may try to keep us in a cycle of "blame and survive," God’s refining process is designed to restore us.

As women, we must ask: How do we move from the place where society puts us to the place where God wants us?

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The "Thaddeus" Shadow

Like many of my sisters, I learned early how to survive as a woman. I was born into a world where my father wanted a son named Thaddeus Quentin. Instead, he got me.

For decades, whenever I accomplished something he believed only a man should do, his response was always the same: “You should have been a boy!”

It hurt. My successes weren't celebrated; they were diminished or resented. I spent forty years trying to walk in my father's shoes, only to find he wasn't happy I was there. I was surviving, but I wasn't living.

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The Turning Point

The shift from survive to thrive happened in my 50s. After hearing that familiar refrain once more, I finally found my voice:

“Dad, no! You should be thankful that I am a woman who can do all these things. Your sons aren't here—I am, and I can help.”

The cycle broke that day. He never said it again. In the years that followed, he learned to show appreciation, and eventually, he apologized for the years of diminishment.

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Reclaiming the Crucible

There is a hard truth in the crucible: You get what you allow. We begin to thrive the moment we stop accepting negative treatment as our identity.

As children, we learn to survive because we must. But as adults, we have the power to take control. We can change our responses, affect change in others, and finally thrive in the very fires that were meant to consume us.

Are you ready to stop surviving and start thriving? Let’s explore the ways to accomplish that together.