In fact, in my opinion, at least, crucible living itself is a direct result of Eve’s decision to listen to the whisperings of her enemy. Adam’s response to God’s question about what he had done immediately shifted Eve into a crucible of Adam’s making and left her trying to survive in it. Her thought/actions seemed to be: “He blamed me, so I will die! I must survive, so I’ll find someone to blame, too.”
That was not God’s crucible for her, though. The crucible He gave her was multiplied sorrow in conception and childbearing, and for her husband to rule over her. His crucible would change her, restore her, while Adam’s gave her no way out.
As women, we must learn how to move from surviving to thriving in that crucible. How do we get from surviving where “men” put us, to thriving where God wants us?
I, like the majority of my sisters, learned to survive being female. I was born at a time when my father wanted another son. I was to be Thaddeus Quentin. I wasn’t. And for most of my life, when I accomplished things he thought only a son should be able to do, my father would say, “You should have been a boy!” It hurt—a lot. I was a girl who wanted to walk in my father’s shoes. He was not happy about it. None of my successes were applauded. All of them were overlooked or diminished in some way. I was a very intelligent girl, and he resented it.
After hearing those words for about 40 years, I realized—this is not living. I am meant to thrive! So, when I heard the statement one day when I was in my 50s, I finally said, “Dad, no! You should be thankful that I am a woman who can do all of these things! None of your sons are here. I am and I can help.” He never said it again and over the ensuing years, he became grateful for that help. He learned to show appreciation. And, he apologized for what he had said and done over the years. Survive changed to thrive.
“You get what you allow!”, are words that apply to this crucible life. We start moving from surviving in the woman crucible the day we stop accepting negative treatment.
As children, we first learn to survive. When we, as adults, realize what happened/is happening we learn to take control of the situation. We learn to change our responses and affect change in others. We learn to thrive in the crucibles.
Here you can learn some of the ways to accomplish that.
Thriving in my crucible
Kimi’s Closet, Inc., is a non-profit organization owned by Kimberly Skinner, my daughter who was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she prepared for treatment, her doctor told her there was no identifiable cause for her cancer. “Then God, why? Why do I have it? What did I do to deserve this pain, this suffering? As Kimi struggled and prayed, she began to release her journey to her Creator and made this request:
“Then give my life purpose.” In the days following that request, the concept of “Kimi’s Closet” was born. “Kimi’s Closet” because closets always fascinated her. There was always something she could find to use, something to borrow, especially in her sister’s closet or mine—something that brought her happiness. And, on her journey through breast cancer treatments, she discovered that there are many women who have no resources. They are so overwhelmed by the diagnosis, that they have no time or energy to research to find very needed help.
Kimi’s Closet, Inc., makes and mails comfort pouches to women and men diagnosed with breast cancer. Each pouch contains things that Kimi found helpful, things she hopes to bring comfort to others—things to bring them happiness. Each pouch costs $10 (shipping included). Pouches will be available through The Crucibles and from Kimi’s Closet, Inc. One hundred percent of the proceeds will go to keeping pouches going to the hundreds of people who request them.
Sometimes we get ourselves into things ~
and need a little help to get out.